Most people who suffer from evil, obscene, or even blasphemous thoughts during church or other times, feel they need to fight the thought head-on, to argue with it, and maybe even to analyze where it came from (“was that thought from a demon or was it really me, and if really me, then does that thought really reflect my true desires?“).
Of course, we all know from experience that when we couple with demonic thoughts in this way, we only make the problem worse. Fr. Maximos Constas, a priest-monk in the Eastern Orthodox Church, outlines a better approach in “The Prayer of the Heart in an Age of Technology and Distraction.”
We should never engage these thoughts or worry and fret about them. Don’t think there’s something wrong with you. Just continue about your business. How foolish it would be to be led about by your idle, stray thoughts. Don’t couple with them. There’s a sexual metaphor here in a lot of the Patristic literature. To unite with these things is to enter into a profound union with them. Tell yourself you’re a Christian and you will not touch these unclean thoughts that come into your mind…. Don’t think about your thoughts, and don’t think about not thinking about them. You can spend your life running in fear from them. Don’t think about them and don’t think about not thinking about them… We have to learn to accept that they’re part of our experience and just don’t pay them any attention.
What about lustful or violent thoughts specifically? Here Albert Rossi is most helpful, in All is Well, a very delightful little book from the clinical psychologist’s eighty years of mature reflection on the spiritual life.
“Sometimes lustful thoughts can be so vivid that the person who is tempted might feel as if he or she had done what the temptation suggested, even though he or she didn’t give in to the temptation. Satan is cunning, baffling, and powerful, and it is important to make a clear distinction between temptation and sin. The distinction is vital.
Sometimes we are tempted by thoughts of wild, scummy images. Those thoughts are not sin. If we are tempted by luscious, attractive images, that is not sin. Those thoughts don’t make us dirty old men or women. No, those thoughts are temptations. The moment we become aware of our thoughts, that is the moment of truth. If we relinquish the thoughts in prayer or simply turn to something else, that constitutes victory. If, however, we indulge those thoughts and magnify them, then that is sin. It is no sin to be tempted sorely….
“A friend…struggles much with his thoughts. He said that he’s not a violent person. I know him. He is a kind and considerate person who wouldn’t harm the proverbial flea. He said that he’s not a vindictive person, but he does have violent thoughts that disturb him. He said that it’s a relief to understand that those thoughts are only thoughts.
“My friend referred to this insight as a reprieve. He said that for him, sometimes when crazy thoughts come, he says to himself—when he becomes aware of those thoughts—’Hey, these are my thoughts. They are not the authentic me.’ Then he returns to the details of the present moment…
“When we become aware of negative thoughts, we don’t combat them directly. They are larger than life and certainly larger than our strength to combat them. So we become aware of them, let them go, and surrender them to the Lord so He can combat them for us… We cannot prevent unwanted thoughts from entering our mind. We cannot be rid of evil thoughts by human thinking. St. Gregory of Sinai teaches that a beginner—and we are all beginners—cannot chase a thought away unless God does it….
“The struggle with harmful thoughts can be a form of ‘white martyrdom,’ that is, martyrdom without the shedding of red blood. White martyrdom can be even more difficult than martyrdom by the sword, a martyrdom that seems swift and certain. White martyrdom can seem endless, unswift, and uncertain of victory of completeness.
“It’s not always easy to distinguish between light and dark thoughts, but we can learn. Christ’s thoughts in us produce peace. Negative thoughts cause anguish, worry, depletion, and depression.
“There are times when the temptations are so massive that they are palpable, almost alive and holographic. Sometimes I feel dirty and guilty after a severe temptation, feeling as if I capitulated to the evil when I haven’t. I know that I didn’t, but the feeling darkens the victory. The residual feeling of neurotic guilt is also a temptation, to be conquered by God’s grace and my ‘warrior sword’ of calm prayer.” [pp. 58, 76-77, 90-91, 117-18]
Further Reading
- St. Porphyrios on the “Spiritual” Things that Distract
- Transforming Over-Sensitivity
- Remaining Tranquil
- The Cross of Least Resistance
- Letting Go of Troubled Thoughts
- Pain is an Opportunity for Spiritual Growth
- How We Are Raising Fragile Children, Why Pain isn’t Always Bad, and How Healthy Activities Protect us from Addiction
- Why Over-Control May Prevent Your Prayers Being Answered
- The Power of Baby Steps in a Superman Culture
- Use Positive Self-Talk to Overcome Anxiety