I’m currently reading Fr. Joshua Makoul’s book, Healing Your Wounded Soul: Growing from Pain to Peace. Makoul is a licensed counselor and an Orthodox priest, so he brings a spiritual perspective to psychology that is much-needed. I met Fr. Joshua a few years ago at a conference but I only just discovered his book and podcast.
Makoul talks about letting go of control, and he explains that often our need to control stems from a fear of vulnerability. Within this discussion, Makoul makes an interesting observation that I’ve never heard before but found intriguing: often when we over-involve ourselves in a situation, tampering with something to try to force a result, God doesn’t answer our prayer since, if He did, that would merely subsidize our over-functioning.
“When we need God to act in a situation, we have to get out of the way first. Many of us pray to God for help, but we don’t want to feel powerless, so we stay overinvolved in a situation or over-function in an attempt to control it. In such cases, if God were to suddenly act and grant our request, would we not attribute the resolution of the situation to ourselves, our efforts, and our over-functioning? When we let go and step back, this clears room for God to act, so that when He does, it is clear that deliverance and resolution come from God and not from us. God wants what is best for us, and He would not want to act in a way that reinforces our own need for control and over-functioning….
If such situations then happen to work out and be resolved in a way that we hoped for, we tend to attribute the resolution to our own efforts rather than to God’s providence. In essence, because we did not let go, because we did not surrender to God, because we did not or could not accept our lack of control in the situation, we were deprived of the learning opportunity of experiencing a situation that is resolved without our being in control. Tragically, this then reinforces the hypervigilance and leads us to trust ourselves more than we trust God. It is only when we learn and practice letting go that we create space in our hearts for the peace of Christ.” p. 27 & 42-43
Further Reading
- St. Porphyrios on the “Spiritual” Things that Distract
- Transforming Over-Sensitivity
- Remaining Tranquil
- How to Deal With Intrusive Thoughts
- The Cross of Least Resistance
- Letting Go of Troubled Thoughts
- Pain is an Opportunity for Spiritual Growth
- How We Are Raising Fragile Children, Why Pain isn’t Always Bad, and How Healthy Activities Protect us from Addiction
- The Power of Baby Steps in a Superman Culture
- Use Positive Self-Talk to Overcome Anxiety